If you haven’t noticed, Valentine’s Day is next week. I’ve been single every damn Valentine’s Day of my young life, and this year is no exception.
I actually still really like the holiday. It’s a time to remember all the friends and family you love — you know, the people who are there for you long after your ex is gone. I like to celebrate by seeing The Vagina Monologues with my buddies. Vaginas: super festive. Also, pink and red are some of my favorite colors, and free chocolate abounds.
So in the spirit of V-Day, these are my totally righteous chocolate cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. You can easily make this vegan by substituting soymilk for the buttermilk and two tablespoons of vinegar for the eggs.
Chocolate Cupcakes of Love/Like/Lust
1 1/2 cups white flour
1/4 cup cocoa powder
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup granulated sugar
4 ounces (one bar) bittersweet chocolate, chopped
1 teaspoon cinnamon
1/2 cup canola oil
1 cup buttermilk (or stir a tablespoon of vinegar into milk and let sit for 10 mins)
1 tablespoon vanilla extract
Preheat oven to 375 degrees and line a 12-cup cupcake tin with paper baking cups. In one bowl, whisk together flour, sugar, baking soda and cinnamon. In another bowl, beat eggs, vanilla, buttermilk and oil together. Add dry ingredients to wet and whisk until just mixed. Fold in chopped chocolate. Pour batter into baking cups. Let somebody you like lick the bowl clean. Bake for about 20 minutes until an inserted toothpick comes out clean. Let cool before frosting.
Cream Cheese Frosting
1/2 of an 8 oz. package of regular cream cheese frosting (none of that fat free crap)
1 stick of unsalted butter
1/4 cup of confectioner’s sugar
Optional: Red food coloring
Let cream cheese and butter sit out on the counter until softened. Cut up into tablespoon-sized chunks and put in a mixing bowl. Use a hand mixer to blend butter and cream cheese together. When mixed, pour in sugar and blend until smooth. (Remember to shut off the mixer while you’re dumping the sugar into the bowl. I always forget and create a sugar explosion in my house.) Add a few drops of red food coloring and blend until it’s a nice pretty pink. Try not to eat it all before you frost your cupcakes.
This article is from the print edition of Poor, Drunk and Hungry, as seen in the Feb. 10 edition of the Montana Kaimin. You, darling internet readers, get pictures and extra advice that doesn’t fit in a 400 word column!