Mustard Greens and Poached Egg Hangover Soup

Egg poached in mustard green soup, topped with Romano cheese.

After a long night of socializing and imbibing, I always crave soup and vegetables, something brothy and warm and full of greens, easy on the stomach but nutritious. Maybe this is weird, but after PBR and tequila and whiskey and gin and tonics (Ugh, just typing that hurts) I want something healthy.

Cooking while hungover can be an epic challenge. I’ve made many breakfasts while unable to fully lift my head, shuffling around my kitchen like a zombie. I think somebody should start a hangover care delivery service: while you stay in bed, they bring you breakfast, coffee and an aspirin and tidy up your apartment.

Well, until that blessed day, here’s what I fix up. Noodles would be awesome, too, but here I went for simplicity: mustard greens, egg, Ramen seasoning packet scrounged from the random assortment in my cupboard. I only use about half the Ramen packet, since it’s so salty. We’re going for healthy, here, remember. If it seems bland, splash in some vinegar and a few shakes of pepper. See, you can be a dipshit drunk and still manage to cook something tasty.

Mustard Greens and Poached Egg Hangover Soup

Ramen seasoning packet

3-4 stalks of mustard greens or similar fast-cooking green

1 egg

2 cups water

Optional: Shredded cheese

First, have the presence of mind to buy healthy things at the grocery store on the weekend. Then, when you’re hungover and finally able to stand, bring 2 cups of water to boil on the stove, dice up the mustard greens stalks, reserving the leaves, and chuck ’em in. Dump in about half of the Ramen packet. Boil the stalks for about five minutes, til tender, and then crack in your egg. Top off with the leaves, cover and continue to cook until they’re wilted and the egg yolk is set. Ta-da! Try to summon the energy to also add some shredded cheese.

 

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